Ok, basically I have to wonder what we are coming to as a human species if the extent of our conversations today, already forcibly limited to exhibitionist status updates on social networking sites, will continue on a downward spiral of the mundane, pathetic, unoriginal. So, at the risk (and probability) of alienating at least half of my Facebook "friends," I will list the five Facebook status updates that we could all live without. Really.1. The Weather.
We get it. It's snowing and/or raining and/or hot and/or cold and/or sunny outside. Now, maybe if a single person was designated Facebook meteorologist, it would be one thing. But it's never just ONE post about the weather. No, no... it is a friggin' cacophony of the same damn weather report from everyone in your entire regional area. And, for friends that live outside of that area, they really don't have the need to know what the weather is like where you live. Seriously, unless a tidal wave is about to hit the Eastern seaboard, you don't need to post about the daily weather on Facebook.
2. Weight Loss. (Or Gain. Or Working Out.)
It always disheartens me that we all have nothing better to talk about to each other than the state of hatred and loathing we have for our bodies. And actually, if it WAS discussion about how you felt about your body in context with the way in which society expects everyone to be physically perfect, I would be okay with that. But it's not. No one needs to know about the 5 lbs. you lost or your next weigh-in or how long your run was that day. Again, if you accomplished something (a marathon, for example) I expect that to be posted. But Facebook is not your personal Weight Watchers meeting. Seriously. There are, like, a billion more interesting things to know about you than how much you weigh.
3. Children's Bathroom Habits.
Really? You REALLY think that everyone on Facebook wants to hear about how your little miracle pooped on the potty today? Really? And, maybe - JUST MAYBE - we should consider children in general to be OFF LIMITS in Facebook status updates and discussions. They are their own individual humans. Personally, I would be pretty upset if I found out later on in life that my parents were sharing my every milestone, tantrum, and bathroom break with a bunch of random strangers and distant friends on Facebook. Not to mention the amount of abject, seething hatred I see in so many posts about your children. If you don't like your kids, you need to work on that and not post about how much work they are, how annoying they are, etc. on Facebook.
4. Food.
To loosely quote a recent article I read on hatred for Facebook, if you didn't call up all of your friends to tell them what you were eating in the past, maybe you should think twice about posting it for all to see on Facebook. It's boring. No one cares what you are eating. Seriously.
5. High School.
Ugh... need I say more? If you are planning to get together with people that you haven't seen in 20 years and haven't felt the urge to stay in contact with for 20 years, why has Facebook suddenly made it acceptable to now have mini-reunions with people that, in all honesty, you probably barely talked to when you saw them every single day 20 years ago?!? And, more importantly, why do all of your real friends from your real life need to know about this? I will write what I said blatantly to my ex-boyfriend a few months back when he discovered Facebook and started to make plans with all of his former marching band friends: "How do you even LIVE with yourself?"
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